Matt tells me I'm starting to look anorexic..and as someone who has dealt with eating issues in the past, I have to make sure I am really careful. But I also know that I need to be careful not to gain weight because I am of a short stature. (5'0. Currently at 117 pounds.) So it' s a slippery slope.
Being as self conscious as I am, it didn't make any sense when I decided to do some vintage style shots in a bathing suit for my photog friend Kory. Kory's an amazing photographer and he was game for doing something to build his portfolio. (You can check him out here if you live in the Louisville area.) I am slightly narcissistic (name somebody with a blog who isn't) and thought a vintage shoot sounded like fun.
So body issues be damned, I took a few shots. Here's one.
Kory made me feel totally at ease and even sort of pretty.
So I put it up on facebook.
It wasn't up for a few minutes, when a guy friend of mine messaged me and said. "Wow. That's an awful picture of you. No offense."
I guess he thought he knew me well enough to tell me the truth, but I am a female and, wow, did my self-confidence take a giant kick to the nads. As someone who has struggled with self-esteem issues her whole life, if you say something derogatory, I will turn back into a shy, weather-beaten teen. I am sad to say I totally did...and it ruined my night. And it sucks that I let it do that.
I think it is part of being a woman: One minute you're a lioness and the next you can feel like a weak kitten. I'm not putting the photo up to fish for complements...I am putting it up for the same reason I took it down. It makes me insecure. But, damnit, I like the photo.
So in short, ballet beautiful works quickly but is a pain in the ass (literally) and also (some) guys can be totally thoughtless.
